Bad Jewish Poems!!!!

My Jewish Learning's Bad Poetry contest

August 18 is Bad Poetry Day! As Jews, this event is of the utmost importance, since Judaism has been responsible for some of the best poetry in the world. The Book of Psalms. The Song of Songs. Barry Manilow. No matter what the emotion, no matter the occasion, some poet has probably captured the sentiment perfectly in verse form–and, as likely as not, that poet might be Jewish.

MyJewishLearning is determined to fight this disturbing trend. What could be better than bad poetry? Whether it starts with “Horseradish is red/The Red Sea is blue” or rhymes the words “you,” “Jew,” and “snuggle-poo,” it’ll probably make a hit in our Bad Poetry Day contest.

Submit your Jewish-themed work of Bad Poetry to by August 11. On August 18, we’ll publish the winners on, and reward the triumphant bards with a prize package:

First Prize

* An iPod Shuffle, loaded with poetry mp3s (not the bad kind, though)
* A prize package from JDub Records including: Michael Showalter’s Sandwiches and Cats, The Sway Machinery’s Hidden Melodies Revealed, and Balkan Beat Box’s Nu Med
* A rubber chicken

Second Prize

A prize package from Jewish Publication Society including:
* Arie Kaplan’s history of Jewish comics From Krakow to Krypton
* Josh Lambert’s American Jewish Fiction
* A pair of bongo drums

Third Prize

A copy of David M. Bader’s Haikus for Jews.

Just remember–every day might be Bad Poetry Day, but MyJewishLearning’s Bad Poetry Day contest only happens once! Send us your bad poetry at today.

3 Responses to “Bad Jewish Poems!!!!”

  1. Suzanne Says:

    Despair for my meschuganah,
    Who loves her bagel and shmear,
    For she’s lactose intolerant this day,
    Despair for her toches.
    Oy vay!

  2. Matt Says:

    Hey Suzanne,

    Totally awful! By which I mean, awesome! But if you want Our Judges to mull it over for real, send it to so that we have your email address (and a way to give you prizes)….

    And, hey, Laurel — thanks for reposting our contest!

  3. Sherrie Petersen Says:

    Do you have to be Jewish to enter?
    And does the iPod shuffle come loaded with Barry Manilow as well? ;)

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