To rhyme or not to rhyme…
So… I’m scribbling a ton of new picture books. Most of them won’t work out.
One or two might.
But as I’m working, I’m flip-flopping about tone, and I wondered if you might chime in and vote.
ABOUT RHYME.
Conventional wisdom is that editors hate rhyming manuscripts. I have not found this to actually be true, but in a lot of cases, rhyme distracts from a book, or undercuts humor. And of course, if it’s done poorly, rhyme is horrible.
So…
if you had a choice between these two bits of text, which would you prefer?
On velvet paws he slunk downstairs
And much against her wishes,
Jim gobbled up his mother dear.
She really was delicious!
&
Jim went downstairs.
And ate his mother up, in three quick bites.
YUM!
Please leave your vote in the comments! I really would love to know how people feel about this.
October 6th, 2013 at 12:21 pm
Me, I love the rhyming one. So Goreyesque. Rhyme aside, “much against her wishes’ adds so much to the scene, no?
October 6th, 2013 at 12:30 pm
They’re both good, but they belong in different books. Which book are you writing?
October 6th, 2013 at 12:32 pm
I am attempting version 11 of a thing you and I have discussed. I have to send it to you hard copy, for structural reasons… I can’t figure out a way to make it in a word doc.
Ahem.
October 6th, 2013 at 4:49 pm
The first one! More fun to say aloud, and funnier.
October 6th, 2013 at 4:52 pm
I like the first. but I think the second could have had a bit more flair.
October 6th, 2013 at 5:54 pm
Rhyme!
Today on a hayride on a Western Pennsylvania farm, one woman of a certain age called out to four other women of a certain age, “What was that old poem with the ribbon of moonlight in it?”– and two women of a certain age both started to chorus verses of “The Highwayman.”
Rhyme rocks, and it lasts forever.
October 6th, 2013 at 6:52 pm
My preference is against rhyme in picture books, unless it is done really, really well, which is not often. I do like your rhyme (-:) but from a librarian standpoint would prefer the prose. I rarely choose rhyming books for storytime b/c they’re difficult to adapt – you’ve got to read them exactly as written or they don’t work and that’s not my storytime style.
October 7th, 2013 at 2:49 pm
I prefer the first. I love light verse, of which there isn’t nearly enough. If poets don’t do poetry, then it is left to people who aren’t, mmm, let’s say proficient.
October 8th, 2013 at 8:01 pm
I really like the first one–so lyrical and fun!