Outtakes from a book you’ll never see…

I don’t know a single writer who hasn’t got a drawer full of manuscripts, books that won’t be published for one reason or another.

One of my own such books is “The Neglected Holiday Songbook.” A book of tiny silly songs for all the holidays that don’t have enough music to celebrate them. Groundhog’s Day, Thanksgiving, Arbor Day, etc.

So… since it’ll never be out in print, here’s a Valentine for you! A seasonal excerpt from the book.  (picture hilarious drawings to go with it, maybe in the style of David Small)


Valentines Day (February 14)

I will not give you candy,
Or roses, or my love.
But if you go on kissing me,
I might give you a SHOVE!

I did not make a card for you,
All red and white and pink.
But if you try to hold my hand,
I might just make a STINK!

I don’t want you to be my sweet.
I don’t like you that way.
I really only want you, please,
To quickly GO AWAY!

Valentine’s Day is a holiday celebrated in different ways all over the planet. In the English-speaking countries, it is the traditional day for sweethearts to show affection (or get out of trouble they might be in) by sending cards, candy, and other junk like that. The holiday is named after two different Early Christian martyrs named Valentine, but it doesn’t have much to do with them, really.  Valentines Day is extremely PINK.


One Response to “Outtakes from a book you’ll never see…”

  1. Angela S Says:

    The world needs this book!

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